A Drop of Ink From The Heart

Hey ya,
Sorry for the lack of recent updates, been buried under piles and piles of notes and books for the Autumn exam. And those headaches doesn't seem to go away. Finished my first paper on Tuesday (Company Law), and it was like shit. Concentrated so hard on 5 topics with another 2 extra topics for just-in-case. Really felt confident and for the 1st time is ages, I had the belief that I can do it this time. Well, life is life. Life isn't fair at all right? Of all the 7 topics that I revised, only the 2 just-in-case topics came out. And I had to answer like 3 essays in 2 hours, so all I did for the 3rd question was, as usual, goreng!!!!. And I have another paper in just over 15 hours from this point of writing. Tax...sounded easy but hell no, no freaking way!! It was worse than I thought. Well, fingers crossed, pray to God Almighty that I'll pull it through.
I was under immense pressure from studying and mental torture. Started with losing a few friends within 2 weeks (1 due to argument, another due to a landslide back home) and barely a week later, lost an unborn nephew -a few hours short of what could have been his arrival to this world. To Allahyarham Abdullah Amin Fahmi bin Ahmad Rizal, God has a better plan for you, and I hope to see you when I leave this world someday, Inshallah.
If losing those three people wasn't enough, I recently came under fire from my own 2 bestfriends. Well, I was to be blamed for causing all of it, though. And I'm truly sorry for what I did and what I did not do. Just so you guys know, I love you guys. There were a lot of issues that was really a threat to our friendship. But I guess, in my own defend, though friendship is what I crave, I hope all of my friends crave the same thing as well. There are differences between what I can do from where I am and where I want to be. I just hope that you two would be patient, that is all I am asking. Feeling left out is not something new for me. I have been feeling left out for God know how long. Even with you two. Yes, you two. But I'd rather not say anyhing more as I treasure our friendship more than anything in this world. Even if it means selling my soul to the devil himself to keep our friendship stay strong, I will do it willingly and wholeheartedly. All I'm asking from you is to show a little bit of concern even if I am alright. I have done all in my powers to make this friendship lasts forever but I have to ask this, and I have never ask this from you two: What have you two done to make this last forever?
Well now, I guess that's all from me now. Need to get back to studying my Tax. Hope it is not too late to wish all of you who are having exams the best of luck. Till next time, cheerio.