Love -The Sequel

Romance

Well now, where were we? Ahh yes, my last post ended when I wrote about Farahanah. Let's move on, shall we? We move on to the college days where I can called it my "turbulent" times. During that time, I was really vulnerable due to new environment and new friends that entered my life. During my 18-month stint in Taylor's University College Subang Jaya, I endured a different mix of feelings towards different people. This is...Love (Part II)

The first person that I started to have feelings for is somewhat different from the previous ones. She was different from the others, yes. Her name alone says it all -Tee Yi Ning. Yes, I did fall for a Chinese girl. She was your average kind of girl. Smart and intelligent, that one. It was not her physical appearance or outside features that captivated me, but she had something that no one else has. What that was, I don't even know. For all I know, most of my time in Taylor's I spent a lot of time trying to get to know her i.e sitting beside her in class, drove her home. But she had this 'wall' that kept us from going further than our friendship. I knew it was because of our differences that erected that 'wall'. She was brought up in a different environment than mine. By then, all of my classmates knew that I was still trying to break that 'wall' down. For around 12 months, I tried and the last effort that I did was in Penang. We sat together on the bus going to Penang and I even bought her 2 Harry Potter books that made her collection complete. But at that time, I knew that I was not strong enough to break it. And so, we became just friends and we still are today. I still do chat with her every now and then, and from what she told me, she is having a great time in KDU and hopes to go to Manchester University later this year. I do hope for the best for her and God willing, I'll see her when she gets here.

This one is by far the worst that I have ever fell for. Her name is Yazira (that is the last time I'll ever write that name) from Kolej Yayasan United Engineers of Malaysia, hereafter identified as KYUEM. I still remember vividly when I first met her. It was on Merdeka day in 2006. She was my good friend's, Hamid, pet sister. Apparently in KYUEM, they have this programme called Keluarga Angkat. Well, she was Hamid's pet sister and w met when Hamid came down from Penang and wanted to celebrate Merdeka with me and Nadzirah, a good friend of mine. So we set out and Hamid was telling me about her and so we picked her up in front of Carrefour Subang Jaya. We then went to Sunway Pyramid for the countdown to our nation's 49th birthday. That was the starting point for us and we kept in touch for quite some time until I asked her out. She accepted it and so we did go out for a few more months. But in the end, she decided herself that she was not going to forget her ex-boyfriend that left her and she kept talking about him wherever we go. She talked about what he bought for her, where he brought her on one of their dates and stuff. But I blindly waited for her to stop reminiscing about him. Until one day, she said that I'm no good at all and I was just a rebound guy for her. I was so distraught that I nearly killed myself. Thankfully, I came to my senses at just the right time. If not, I wouldn't even be here typing all these. And by far, this is the only girl that I never keep in touch with after that. And I didn't regret it one bit. For me, she is already dead.

Depression

Quite a turbulent life that I had during my A-levels. I think that was why I nearly flunked my grades but thank God, He gave me a second chance to redeem myself in Cardiff, which I am currently doing my degree in Cardiff University. But I think that I still haven't learnt my lesson. Do you remember what I wrote in my previous post about love?  "But our break-up at the end 2002 was not the end for us. There is more to come later." Well, to make it short, Nadia and I did get back together after a few months of courting each other. And I can still say it is the best moment of my entire life to get back with her again. I was truly on top of the world. I felt like a king. After years and years of searching, I realised that the one that I love the most is still Nadia, no one else. But everything has a price. There were people who supported me throughout my ordeal when I broke up with Nadia, and now they were against me. They thought that I betrayed their friendships and I was not being grateful about what they did to ensure that I got over Nadia. I was so scared that I made the biggest mistake that I have ever done in my entire life -I let Nadia go. After that, I feel like I'm lost like I did 5 years ago. Now, I'm beginning to find my footings again, with the help of Nadia, even without her knowing it.

As for now, I have come to a conclusion that I'm not going to court someone. My heart belongs to Nadia, and unless someone is able to take it away or if she throws it away herself, then I'll just be who I am right now. Alone. Nadia and I made a pact a few hours ago before the time of writing "We'll just see what happens. if everything is well, then why not?" So until everything has been cleared and the dust been settled, we will see what happens to me next.